I guess this is part of my illness, taking on seemingly impossible situations and being able to resolve them in a week or less. I also have to travel during these engagements and my sleep gets disrupted frequently. Over the last several years I have been dealing with a very painful back injury. I have had to go on long term narcotics to function with the pain. I know some people can get addicted to these drugs, especially if you are prone to addiction already. If you suffer from depression and you are in a lot of pain your depression will get worse if you don’t manage the pain,

The way I am living is very painful. Sometimes when I wake up I think I need to give up and go on disability. I have always paid for Long Term Disability. Once I get to feeling better I believe that I can take this for a little while longer, maybe another week, month or a year. So I keep treading forward in this miserable condition.

I have no joy in my life. I don’t have time for a relationship because I am traveling all of the time. I am afraid that sharing my life with someone else might cause them to feel as much pain as I am in most of the time. I have a great family but I don’t want to burden them with my illness. My mother tried to help but I could see it taking a toll on her too. I really feel terrible most of the time but when anyone asks me how I am feeling and I lie and telling them I am feeling great.

I really don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. I don’t want anyone’s pity but if anyone has information that might be helpful I would appreciate it. Thanks for listening.

Joe

1. Even though it is reported that Bipolar is progressive and gets worse – this isn’t universally the case. And if it does change form – showing more frequent or severe episodes – adjusting medications can still make a big difference. We sometimes have the idea that adult brains have stopped developing and changing – but that is not true. The brain changes throughout life – with or without Bipolar Disorder. But this of course means that medication needs and symptoms can all change over time as well. Be sure to talk to your doctor about your options and possible med adjustments. If the doc isn’t willing to consider changes, consider getting another opinion.

2. If you have a therapist on your treatment team he or she will be an important resource for you right now. Digging through the problems that are going on related to work and generating some solutions to those problems – running the gamut from things you can change to changing work situations and if so to what kind of alternative work – is an important part of the ongoing management of bipolar disorder.

3. If you don’t have a therapist, you might look into vocational supports in your state. Most states have some form of vocational training and rehabilitation services. You may need to be receiving services from your state Department of Mental Health or through Social Security Disability to qualify. If you haven’t looked into those resources yet, you might consider doing so. Disability income, health care, and other supports should be available to people with mental illness in all states, but it is managed differently in different places.

4. If you prefer private resources, you could consider working with a private vocational counselor. There may be people accessible through a local or community college.

5. The National Alliance on Mental Illness is an advocacy organization and they may have a local chapter in your area; you can search for local chapters at Find Your State and Local NAMI. Connecting with people there may help you to access services in your local area.

Remember to try to tackle this in small pieces – one task at a time – it won’t all get fixed at once – but as long as you are talking to people and reaching out you are still in the game.

Well, I know we’re not the only ones out there who this scenario describes and I’m sure there’s not just one right way to look at it or deal with it. But I do have a couple of ideas that might help with your situation.

Have you ever looked into NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness at http://www.nami.org) or DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance at http://www.dbsalliance.org)? NAMI has a special page for Legal Support. Unless things have changed, they can give general advice over the phone, and/or give you the names of lawyers in your area who specialize in your particular type of situation. Sometimes you can qualify for disability, even if it’s for a short period of time, every little bit helps to pay the bills. I’ve been through the process and actually received payment for myself and my kids for the one year that I was completely out of commission. It took a long time, and a lot of paperwork, phone calls, and meetings, but it was definitely worth it.

I’m fortunate because I have a husband helping to pay the bills and give me moral support. As a single parent trying to care for your parent and daughter, your situation is obviously much more challenging.

It’s really important that mental illnesses are recognized as legitimate disabilities and I think that according to the law, they are… but going through the legal disability process is slow and somewhat demeaning. But please remember that you didn’t ask for this condition, and that you have worked hard and had a lot of extra stressors added to your load. Don’t feel bad asking for help. Usually to these lawyers charge a very minimal fee for the consultation and then they take the rest out of the disability settlement when it’s reached.

The other advice I’d have is to try and find a job that is less stressful, but that provides benefits. These aren’t impossible to find. And again, it’s a blow to the ego, but financially you may never be in the position that you were. We found that with the lowered income in our household that our college-age son was eligible for more financial aid to help pay for his tuition, which kind of eased the burden. If your daughter wants to go to college and has decent grades, there should be nothing preventing that. I’m sure that the high school guidance counselor could give you and your daughter ideas on available scholarships and financial aid. Also, there are college loans available, but I’d try to keep those to a minimum. Your daughter may also want to talk with someone herself to help her come to terms with the fact that her reality has changed, too.

I feel like I’m giving you a pep talk, but frankly, the truth of the matter is that it’s not easy. Still remember, bipolar is part of who you are… and I like to think that it’s part of what makes me unique. I haven’t found a way to make the big bucks, but I try to make the best of the day I have. I hope some of this helps. I’ve learned a lot along the way, but as I’ve said it’s slow going and not particularly lucrative (financially speaking).

I wish you all the best.