3 Responses to “The Unhealable Disease”

1. Anonymous on June 2nd, 2009 9:15 am

   that’s not true, it’s not true, i don’t want to believe it. i know that we can be happy if we try, without being tied down by LITHIUM you are stronger than you think…bipolar disorder makes us slaves, which we shouldnt be. i think we can fight it and get back ourselves, without medication. why would we need it, it may be slower and we may suffer more if we get through the fits ourselves, but we can do it. and we wouldnt be dependant on some pills. i’m not about to tell anyone ive got this, and im not about to get any medication for it. so what if ur bipolar? ur fate is still urs, u cant let urself become dependant. its my worst nightmare. its tiring

2. lisa anthony on August 21st, 2009 10:00 pm

   to George and annonymous, the poem is expression and expression is good, it’s not always true reality and that’s okay. Annon: please don’t tell me that you can do without medicine because I don’t know many who can on a consistent basis. The last time I went off my medicine, I heard voices that told me to kill myself and I nearly did and was hospitalized for 2 1/2 months. Keep reaching out. LA

3. Lydia on May 21st, 2011 12:56 am

   I met my husband mid of 1999, when we met I was so mesmerized on how dramatic he was on his world views and his drive to conquer the world. At that time, he was just a perfect soul mate for me, I was eager to please him and work hard a long side of him and we did conquered the world for quite a while.

   All of this along with raising kids; we were a match made in heaven and very much untouchable. I was 9 months pregnant with our son (the youngest child in our blended family) at the time he was first hospitalized. That was the first we both learned that he has bipolar… my world didn’t crumble, I was furious that he was punished (was the best way I can describe my disappointment).

   Fast-forward to now year 2011, we’ve moved a dozen times, we’ve owned a dozen things and lost them all one by one due to the market. But it didn’t matter, I think even if the market were still be okay, we wouldn’t have made it either way.

   It was never enough with him, never big enough, never expensive enough, we always have to aim so much work so hard and spend harder. This was material things and same goes for everything else… VERY EXHAUSTING!!

   I’m leaving my husband, my soul mate my everything… I have to because if I don’t then I will break and we both cannot be broken because we have children that need me.

   I’m so ready to leave – I wouldn’t let him move back in with me after the hospital (weeks ago) and he’s now living with his mother. By the way, he moved out and left me and the kids exactly one day before he was admitted to hospital.

   I can’t stop crying though, this is too much too handle for one person but, no one else can handle me venting for more than 5 minutes on the phone – I’m sure they’ve all heard it before from me anyhow… half of them think it’s just going to be another fight of thousands of fights we’ve had over the years and the other half waiting for me to actually file for divorce papers… I don’t really have any support left most of my friends have left my life due to a controlling husband.

   I don’t know what to do – I love him very much but, this bipolar has really ruined him this time, I really doubt he’s going to be better ever again. He’s been hospitalized for manic twice in less than 6 months. He’s hearing things now, I can’t keep up with his symptoms; between aliens, government conspiracy theories and Jesus is coming – it’s quite overwhelming.

   Now his doctor called me and said he’s disappointed that I left him as I’m a very crucial part of him getting better… I need a break and I don’t know what to do, all I know is I think I’m very depressed now and just cant stop crying. I’m hiding it from the kids but, I feel helpless and guilty and sad.

   Last thing he said to me were “If you leave me, I’ll shoot myself”, “I need 2-3 years to get better again” and “You should just divorce me if you don’t believe me that what’s going on is really real and not just my hallucinations”.

   The only thing I can do is to leave him and let him find himself again because now I and the kids are constant reminders for him that he’s not on top of the world anymore and that’s debilitating him!

Leave a Reply

Name

Email Address

Website

CAPTCHA Code *