30 Responses to “My Bipolar Mother”

1. Randy on December 16th, 2008 9:53 am

   HI, i read this story and this is almost exactly the same way my father is acting. I don’t know what to do about it. He consistently yells at my mother, and says things that aren’t mentally healthy. He wakes up almost every morning sometimes at 4a.m. and starts yelling at my mother. He’s had a long history of Bipolar manic depression. What can you do with people like this?

2. Cindy in MS on December 29th, 2008 10:59 pm

   Hello,
   First, if someone will not accept that they have a problem, then you must go about the business of protecting yourself and loved ones. Setting up proper boundaries and not enabling their behavior. People who are in their elder years are not going to change.
   When we are children, we suppress things that are done to us by those who are supposed to protect us. Abuse does not have to be sexual to be traumatic. You will need to decide whether remembering is worth bringing us the other things that will come with remembering. I suggest that you speak to a counselor who specializes in adult survivors of child abuse.

3. Lisa Lieberman on January 24th, 2009 9:50 pm

   My mother is bipolar and it has taken me a long time to understand that it was not my fault, that she was sick, not up to me to make her better. I am very sad for the years she has lost to her illness. My own healing began when I had my own children. Being the kind of mother that I wish I’d had has enabled me to make peace with the past. I wish the same for you.

   A few years ago, I wrote about my experiences in our local paper. Here’s the link:
   http://www.freedom-center.org/pdf/12-04_valley_advocate_mentally_ill_family_cover.pdf

4. Kelli Hawk on May 26th, 2009 5:58 pm

   I am the daughter of a bipola mother. I grew up with it my whole life and am still dealing with even though I am now a grown, married woman with three children. My mother and I have a volitile relationship. I have a younger brother who has always broken all the rules and treated my parents with disrespect since he was a child-and has continued to do it even though he is also now an adult. I played by all of the rules and my mother, to this day, is constantly taking out all of her frustrations on me and going weeks without talking to me and blaming me for every thing that goes wrong in our family. She has never gone without talking to my brother regardless of what he has done. This has been going on my whole life. I have even nicknamed my brother “the golden child” because she continues to baby him and stick up for him all the while making life hell for me. I wonder if any one else has experienced this-people with a bipolar parent I mean. The difference in the way I have always been treated and the way he has always been treated is obvious to everyone but her.

5. heather on July 26th, 2009 7:13 pm

   Kelli; Hi, your experience is remarkably similar to mine. I have no idea if mom is bi-polar–I am looking for answers to why she hates me and focuses her venom on me alone. My dad and brother never believe me when i tell them what she does and says. She always waits till we are alone. Then she claims i was rude and they come down on me. Its been this way all my life. I too am married with 3 kids. My brother is the “golden child” as well. Never got a harsh word that I could remember. He’s a college professor now. I used to think I was crazy when I was a kid. I never knew what kind of mood she’d be in. So how do i find out if she’s bi-polar? If i brought it up dad and brother would never listen and just get mad at me.

6. carly on November 20th, 2009 12:35 pm

   can anyone suggest a good self help book about dealing with a bipolar mother?

7. jl on December 19th, 2009 12:42 am

   Yes, there is a good one called: My mother is bipolar, so what am I? or something like that. I dislike the title, b/c it denotes that people ‘are’ their illness. I don’t consider people with mental illness to ‘be’ their illness. It’s just downright rude. But it may help you cope with a traumatic upbringing due to the illness.

8. bc on January 8th, 2010 4:34 pm

   Wow, I can’t believe other people have gone through the same thing I have. I believe my mom is bipolar. All of my life she has abused me physically and verbally. I was sexually abused by my father and when I told her, she said it was my fault and now she uses it to control my father. My brother was raised differently. She doesn’t show her “ugly” side to him. He has moved away and keeps her out of his life. He doesn’t know what happened to me. I have had a lot of difficulty in my own life. Even though I have traveled the world and escaped for awhile, I keep hearing her abusive language in my ear. I have always been a good daughter and tried to please my parents, but they hate me. I have asked them to go to a family therapist but they say I am the one who is crazy since I once tried to commit suicide. Growing up I had to bare the family secrets. I’ve even tried to be their marriage councilor! I’ve always realized that I am a good person and that I just need to go away and forget them and I did for seven years but I felt extremely guilty. It is a sad situation but I can still save myself.

9. neb on February 24th, 2010 5:23 pm

   I have grown up in an environment full of this disorder. My mother has it, and my brother was recently diagnosed. This disease has really hurt my family over the years, especially my older brother. He has tried to commit suicide several times over the past two years and has recently began to “self-medicate” with alcohol and drugs. Obviously we don’t have the kind of relationship now that I would like to have due to the fact that he hurt me too much and keeps self destructing over and over again. It is impossible for him to get (and hold onto) a job because of his constatly changing behavior. So, he cannot get insurance to pay for medication. It’s a constant circle of extreme depression and mania. As a new father, I am concerned that I could have passed this disorder onto my son. Does anyone know what the chances of my son developing this is?

10. Jennifer on March 8th, 2010 1:26 pm

    My mother had been diagnosed with ADHD and Bi-Polar disorder. She’s 48 and I’m 30 and I often feel like I’m HER mother instead. She’s forceful, rude, thoughtless of what she says to others, often times in a different dimension mentally then everyone else, she thinks EVERYONE and their dog are conspiring against her, she thinks she’s “special” to God and that He tells her all kinds of secrets that He hides from everyone else.

    She’s completely scattered and disorganized, goes absolutely nuts by her “deep thinkng” all day long and refuses to get a job.

    Ugh, over the years I’m afraid to say that I have begun to almost hate her. She’s so mean and hateful and will talk about how her siblings are devils, but then retract it the next day, and then the story is different the day after an she’s back to hating them again…

    I hate the effin drama and I wish she would just go away and leave me alone for good sometimes!!!

11. JC on April 25th, 2010 6:58 pm

    Funny that I just happened upon this website. I just had a HUGE BLOWOUT with my mother (hasn’t been officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but 99.9% that she and my sister are bipolar). I am visiting her from out of town and have been kicked out of the house. I am at a coffee shop, will stay in a hotel tonight, and fly home tomorrow. I have been told for the 10th time in my life by her that I have been disowned and to not come home for Christmas (I have been home every year).

    She is completely irrational and continues to put me down in every way, shape, and form. My sister, the one who hasn’t played by the rules, is the one who gets babied all the time and who gets the attention and the flexibility. I’ve never asked for attention, only normal human decency. I’m the only one in my family who actually understands her and why she manipulates people. She makes me feel guilty which is why we always end up making up (she’s so lonely I don’t know what the hell she would do without anyone in her life who “understands” her). I’m never good enough, though, so she makes judgments on my life and my choices.

    She puts my father down all the time, she compliments herself all the time, and always wants to hear about how great SHE is. If we ever challenge her statements, she BLOWS UP and says we’re ganging up on her and how that’s not fair. If we fight and my Dad decides to go to dinner with me, she gets pissed at ME and says I purposefully left her out and that I don’t love her.

    Today, after fighting last night (and before our HUGE BLOW UP this afternoon), the first thing she says to me is, “Get me a gallon of milk from the store. Not the organic kind, and I want whole milk, not 2%, not 1%, not nonfat, WHOLE MILK.” And I replied, calmly and rationally, “If you can say please, then I will go and get it.” She replies, “FUCK YOU, I don’t care if you don’t get it.” I said, “I refuse to be BARKED at. I am a human being and deserve a certain amount of decency. All you have to do is say, please. That is NOT a huge request. Just say please and I will go get you your milk.” She replies, “FUCK YOU, I told you I don’t need you to get me my milk!”

    Anyway, this is just the tip of the iceberg about what I have been experiencing my whole life. Not sure if anyone out there has advice or insight, but somehow typing this has been therapeutic. I have been in tears all afternoon after all the horrible things she has said to me. I stood up to her, though, I fought back…probably not the best decision for someone who is irrational like her, but it all built up and I couldn’t help it. I feel the worse for my Dad…he has to deal with her on a day to day basis. He talks about how he should leave her, but at this point and for how old they are, I actually think they NEED each other. But it sure doesn’t mean either of them are 100% happy about that…

12. Rhonda on November 16th, 2010 8:00 pm

    I just came upon this site & I am amazed at the simalarities to my own experiences. I am a 30 year old child of a single bipolar mother.My father left when I was four leaving me to be raised by my mother. It may sound strange but it wasn’t until yesterday that I realized that I am not the one who is ill. All of my life she has told me that there is something wrong with me & I believed her. She dragged me to therapists since age 6 & even had me committed to an adolecent treatment center.I have continued on my own to seek help & it wasn’t until yesterday speaking with my counsellor that we realized I was not sick. Apparantly it is called folie a deux. Because I was left in her care I began to exhibit her symptoms. It explains why none of the medications I was given ever worked. I never realized the abuse that I suffered because of her illness and it is liberating to know that it is not my fault. I am wondering if anyone else has suffered similar situations where you think you are the sick one?

13. Help on February 18th, 2011 9:00 am

    I just typed into Google my biopolar mother and got into this website, and i am not surprised at the similar cases we all have. I am only 13, and i already cannot stand my mother. My parents got a divorce when i was 9. My mother had SERIOUS quarrels and fight with HER own parents, which will get violent. Now she does not want to even talk to my grandparents. They have not met for years. But I have. She refuses to get a job now, even though she is a lawyer and loves to praise herself. She never cared about me, scolded my siblings and i for her own faults. I hate her language and she can get really unreasonable. I am really glad that my father and grandparents brought me up. If not i will become like her. Sometimes i really think that i’m the mother instead. I really cannot stand it. When i grow up i am not going to support her or anything, see how it feels to be like my grandparents. God, what have i done to deserve this. Why must it be me. WHY.

14. Ben Duran on April 13th, 2011 11:50 am

    I just found this website, and I’m surprised how common my situation is. I am 15 years old, and I live with my mom and younger brother. I am positive that my mother is bipolar, or mentally challenged in some form. She does things that no loving mother ever does. I’ve had the police dispatched to my house 3 times for no good reason. I’m fairly intelligent, and I often disprove my mom’s irrational thoughts. She will get very angry, and do whatever to put me down. I used to be an overweight kid, and she would openly call me a lazy fat ass. I’ve now lost all that weight, and now she calls me a skinny unhealthy pussy. I am finished with her abusive attitude. I once had a talk with her about her behavior, and she told me “WELL IF I DEPRESS YOU SO MUCH, THEN GO KILL YOURSELF! ILL BUY YOU A GUN!” I honestly believe if I wasn’t a strong minded person, she would have been the death of me. I fear for my own safety every day. I’m afraid of what could happen in the time I have left living here. When she is an old, lonely woman, wanting her son by her side, I won’t be there. It hurts to say this, but these are the words of a child, void of love.

15. jasmine on May 11th, 2011 3:01 am

    hearing these stories makes me feel alittle stronger, in only 19 but as far back as i could remember my mom has been ill, she is bipolar/skitzo and doesnt take her meds to her it “mades her a different person” she physically abuses my father but he refuses to do anything about it, shes stabbed him aimed guns to his head even lied to her friends that he is the one that hits her. I moved out when i turned 18 and she hates me for it. i feel guilty because by moving i left behind my brother and sister ages 11 and 7. The day day i told my sister i was moving she begged me not to go “your gonna leave me with her?” It still breaks my heart everytime i think of it. My mom has driven every person in my family away and insist its their fault. I hate holidays because she manages to ruin every single one. My childhood was no walk in the park. I was a chubby child so everyday was a “you’d b pretty if you wernt so fat…boys dont like fat girls…i wasnt fat so why are u?” I could go on and on. What hurts me the most is she refused to think she hurt me in anyway and for talking about it like i am now i am back stabbing her. I recently argued with her and now im not allowed to see my sibblings or my father. Im an emotional person now im afraid of what people think of me and i refuse to belive in my self. I still love my mother but i fight with the pain shes made me feel everyday

16. saddaughter on June 5th, 2011 12:48 pm

    As everyone else has stated, it is comforting to know that others have experienced or “are experiencing” this vicious disease. Today is very difficult for me as I’m trying for the first time to initiate a seperation from my mom. Today is the 2 month mark that I haven’t called my mom. It is SO painful that I can hardly bear it. But I’ve been on the good mood/bad mood journey for my entire life and I had to admit that I have lost the battle. No amount of love, no amount of care and concern, no amount of reason and discussion, no amount of prayer, not whispering of yelling, not hugging her or hating her….nothing will change her. It will good for a period of time and then, on a benign incident, the ugly side will come out. Of the 3 children in our family, I am the one that gets the brunt of the disorder….the hatred, the cruel comments and behavior. And for whatever reason or reasons, my 2 brothers are safe from the vicious behavior, so it is very difficult for them to accept, understand and provide empathy towards this painful situation.
    I know that my mom is dealing with pathology. She has an illness. But what destroys me is how well she is able to control the really vicious behavior in front of my 2 brothers. Those are the times that I wonder if it’s really a disease, or if PERHAPS she is just ugly inside and knows clearly well what she is doing.

    I thank all of you for listening as I am in a deep amount of emotional and spiritual pain.

    I know that if I don’t contact my mom, I will NEVER hear from her again. The pain is overwhelming but if start the cylce again, the cycle will never end.

    Thanks to anyone listening.

    To all, have a good day.

17. Roda on June 7th, 2011 4:27 pm

    I think I too have a bipolar mother (never told me about being diagnosticated). Her behaviour closely ressembles those described here. Especially with the specially treated younger brother who was not only getting away with anything, but was constantly praised in front of both of us,since we both were very young. I was getting extremely cruel remarks about different body parts of mine (nothing was really ugly). Whenever I ‘theatened’ to perform better than my brother, I was ‘put back in line’ in my 2nd place, by various methods (public humiliation, horrible scenes which depressed me deeply, and other manipulation techniques.) When her behaviour started to endanger my new family, after I got married, I cut myself from her. It hurt terribly, especially realizing that she didn’t care. It was so hard, my heart was so heavy, I thought it would break and I would die. But I succeeded. It still hurts, but not as bad, and at least we are safe. She succeeded to make almost all other family memebers keep away from her, as well.
    Your mother will never change, saddaughter.
    Save yourself and be strong. People like this are manipulative, but there is only one way out.
    Be strong, and God bless you.
    Roda

18. saddaughter on June 7th, 2011 5:57 pm

    Roda,

    Thank you very much for listening and for your words of wisdom. Since I am only several weeks into this trial seperation, the emotional wound is very raw. In the complexity of this disease process is my innocent 10 year old daughter who adores my mom. Yes….my mom seems to be able to control herself and be “good” to my beloved daughter. But now that I have drawn this line, my mom is so ugly that she will seperate herself from my daughter to spite me. It is a dark time now and I’m sure darker to come as I embark on this seperation after 52 years of allowing the up/down cycle to continue. I thought I could deal with it till she died. Because of her advanced age, I wanted to hang on just a few more years and try to end it all on a “up” note. But I don’t think I can. She is so emotionally labile that anything benign can set her off. I actually found a letter she wrote to me telling me she has always held grudges.

    At any rate, thank you again for your support.

    By the way….I too was humiliated in public when I was a young girl….such terrible memories.

    Blessings to you.

    Sad Daughter

19. Jan on June 22nd, 2011 1:31 pm

    My mother has been diagnosed bipolar and for years I’ve just put up with the mood swings and her behavior. I just recently had a baby and now I’m feeling different as to how she affects me and my family. She makes up lies all the time and really believes that they are true. She does hurtful things and when I tell her they are hurtful she either gives me an empty appology and repeats the behavior or she totally goes off and blames me for everything. Like I said I put up with this my whole life but now that I am married and have a baby it’s starting to affect my family. The last fight I had with her she brought my wife into it and started saying mean things about her when she never did a thing to my mother. Now my wife hates her and refuses to talk to her or allow her in my sons life. She has also said that she cannot deal with her at all and if she’s in my life than my wife will choose to not be in my life. I haven’t talked to my mom in 7 months now and she is telling other family members more lies about my wife and is making them think that my wife is this monster. My aunts and uncles are now calling me saying my mother will committ suicide if I don’t talk to her. She is obviously making everyone feel sorry for her and trying to give me a guilt trip which is another thing I’ve dealt with my whole life. I’m now at a crossroads on what the right thing to do is. Talk to her and put up with her and risk losing my wife or keep my mother out of my life and try to have a happy life with my wife and son. I know deep down that I need to make myself happy and put my family first, but getting a guilt trip makes my life hell.

20. Helpless Daughter on July 12th, 2011 9:06 am

    Wow! After reading all these comments I see Im not alone. Im 20 years old, and my mother has been diagnosed with bipolar since I can remember. There are times when she is my best friend, and I am the only person in the world who understands her and then there are other times when she hates me. Right now, we are going through a bad patch, a very bad patch, she has already pushed my brother too far, and he now lives far away with his fiancee and baby, and it is just me and my younger brother. He is ‘Golden Boy’ I nicknamed him ‘Favourite Child’ thats what he is… Mum always seems to laugh it off but its soul destroying. I do everything I can to get her to love and want me the way she does my brother, but feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. I just want her to love me, thats not too much to ask surely. She makes me feel guilty for everything I do and always thinks about her self and how bad she feels, and how bad she is treated. she lost my sister at a young age, and quite often says that she wishes it was me who I died and she still had my sister.I dont feel like I can cope with this anymore, and I feel like I am betraying her by discussing this today, I feel helpless and alone, I just dont know what to do anymore.

21. Joe on July 12th, 2011 9:31 am

    Telling you or even thinking she wishes it was you who died and she still had your sister is terrible. Everyone should receive a parent’s unconditional love. Not receiving that love can be devastating.

    Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A therapist? If you’re going to school, do you have a counselor you can talk to? Is there a support group in your area for family members who have loved ones with mental illness? You’re not betraying your mom by discussing this. Holding it in and not talking about it might even make you more resentful. Venting off a little steam can only help. We’re wishing you all the best.

22. Helpless Daughter on July 20th, 2011 9:16 am

    I do feel that sometimes I resent her, and feel nothing but hatred towards her. Then I feel incredibly guilty and hate myself for feeling like that. The reasons behind mum’s mental trauma are experiences and issues that I too have had to live with myself, and I resent the fact that I can see life goes on and she cant.
    I dont like to discuss it cos as silly as it sounds, I dont want people to think bad of her, I understand yet I know plenty of people out there dont and that makes her worse.
    I feel empty these days, and like a robot, like I am just going through the motions, I do as I am told and dare not step a foot out of line. I hate the fact she takes me for granted, I used to be so happy now I wake up every day with a lump in my throat, and wonder what I will have to deal with and its horrendus!

23. Lauren on November 27th, 2011 6:46 pm

    Dear Friends,
    I would like to encourage all the children of bipolar parents to please seek counselling. We can not continue to live alone with these experiences, because it will affect our future. Please seek an outsiders opinion on what you are dealing with, as it can be overwhelming for a person to deal with this huge illness alone. No one should be abused. Buy the Complete Guide to Boundaries book by Cloud & Townsend. I have been through this with my bipolar mother and find that all our stories are so similar – if I got the help I needed to deal with this at 20, I could have saved myself a big deal of sorrow that I’m still trying to deal with at 35! DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE…

24. hutchgirl82 on December 26th, 2011 1:54 pm

    My husband recently found this site and refferd it to me. We are currently dealing with my mother who is on a short term stay at our local in-patient mental health facility. She’s just been diagnosed with Bi-Polar syndrom, which I pretty much concluded of months ago. By reading all of yours’ posts it is clear that she displays similar, to exact behavior as many of your mothers.
    I am the oldest child of 3. She targets me the most. Grew up abused in almost every form and fashion. Wished and prayed growing up that I could live in a foster home. She kept switching men in her life, so there was never really anyone to rescue me from the hell I grew up in! Dr’s said that I suffered from Boarderline Personality Dissorder due to my upbringing. I have since learned to heal and move on, starting my own family and vowing to never be “her”.
    I to have a “golden brother”. He is neutral on the whole thing and is absolutely NO help in confronting the situation (which is what the socail worker recommended we do, while she is in the care of hospital staff). My younger sister has become a walking science experiment. Mom thinks she has every disorder known to man, so poor sister has been on a boatload of different psychotropic medications. Now at 17 sister deals with eating dissorder to impress boys. Mom refusses to get it treated. Instead she says the results of Weight loss are due to stomache issues, which in some aspect has truth to it as sister has real stomache problems as well as mental/emotional one due to my mothers self medicating her. Perscriptions are abused, and she has a pharmacy of past med’s in her home that she uses on herself and sister, when she feels they are needed. I have fought for years to get sister out of the house. No one sides with me, because mom manipulates case workers and doctors.
    It makes my head spin thinking about how crazy she acts at times. It’s like she has this vendeta against me. Yet she follows me everywhere I go. She tries to mimic my life (she has worked at 4 of the same places as me) and she moves where ever I do. I can’t seem to get away! When we have her “up times”, she uses overwhelming flattery to try to love up to people. It makes me want to barf! THe down times are REALLY down. Now she wants to divorce my dad, this is the 4th dad now….because “he made her this way” she says. Which is the farthest from the truth I’ve ever heard.
    I’m currently a Psych student and am trying really hard to go about this with an understanding attitude, but frankly, she unsafe even for herself. Has no concept of paying bills or repricussions for her actions. She’s ruined my sisters life…she’s broken me over and over again. Uses my daughter to make me feel guilty. Adores my husband…Sometimes I just want to scream “why can’t we all just be adults here?!?!”
    So I’m supposed to visit her today. It will be the first time since she was checked into the hospital (6 days now). Not sure how long she will be there. Family says she in complete denial and this is everyone elses faults. I’m the enimy I guess because I talked to the social worker about her. She’s deeply hurt (so she cried to my husband) that I told them she was a hoarder (which she is, she is now gotten so bad that she has boxes piling on her bed that she sleeps with). I could go on and on…will prob write a book about this one day…Lord know’s there’s enough stories to fill one! Anyhow, I love mom and want to see her well, but honestly am not very hopefull anymore. I’m pregnant again and suffering anxiety through pregnancy due to her. Pretty sure my blood pressure is escalated just writing this and thinking about having to see her later. Not sure if she will be happy to see me, or be mean the whole time I’m there. I’m so scared to confront her because frankly, she gets revenge….ugh…It just makes my head spin!

25. HH on December 27th, 2011 3:51 pm

    I am glad to have found this site, I too am a child of a bipolar mother. Growing up was great and honestly I can’t think of a time when I noticed she might have been different, until that day. When my parents divorced due to her infidelity, everything changed. Her personality did a 180 and I she began to act like a 20 year old, drinking, smoking, swearing like a sailor.

    I chose to live with my father for a year until I moved a way to college. Nothing has been the same since. She has always called me the golden child and tell me how proud she is but will then turn around and tell her how much I hate her and disrespect her for disagreeing with her. No conversation is normal with her, phone calls that should last 5-10 minutes ramble on for hours and if I even try to cut them short I am being rude and uncaring.

    And I insult her at every turn if I do not agree with her fantastical plans of buying a mansion or going back to school for the 30th time. I have to admit, all of this bizarre behavior has made me resentful and even cold but I don’t know how else to deal with her sensitivity.

    A few times her and her now ex-husbands have gotten into huge drinking screaming matches which my younger siblings call me about because of fear. I hate that they have to live with her. Although she is extremely loving she is also extremely judgmental and dislikes my husband because he does not put up with her shit.

    I tried to see a therapist and establish boundaries but those were disregarded and I am at fault for everything. I am sick of being walked all over by her and told that I do not love her and am a cold heartless..B…you know. I am as respectful as I can be given my past 5+ year history dealing with this disease. I can no longer pretend like everything is fine and continue to feed her delusions, I have not spoken with her in 2 weeks now and sadly, it has been the best 2 weeks I can remember.

    I feel for everyone on here and remember, it’s not you, it’s almost never you.

26. hutchgirl82 on December 29th, 2011 6:48 pm

    mom got out of the hospital today. I don’t even know where to begain with it all…how do I deal with this now? Now that I know it’s a disease she has and she’s not just a whack-immature mother?

    We live in a pretty small town (whole family) and there’s no escaping right now…she got out today and already showed up at my house……

27. Leelee on January 2nd, 2012 3:59 pm

    Just here to share my story. Just got off the phone with my mother and reading everyone else’s experiences has helped me.

    My parents divorced when I was eleven. Before then, my mom pretty much raised me and my sister. However, as soon as she got rid of Dad she went absolutely wild. Thankfully my father stayed nearby and we always had the choice of who to live with (I chose Dad). Mom was born into money and her parents died when she was a teenager, so she never really learned any personal responsibility. Fast-forward 13 years later and she is nearly broke.
    When I was a child she spoiled me, buying expensive jewelry and whatnot. Now she is upset because much of her jewelry was stolen (probably by her drug-addict boyfriend or other friends, also not the first time this has happened). She wanted me to give her my jewelry and was hurt when I said no, I want to keep it where it is safe. I am not rich and I fear for the day when her debts fall on me. I have a job (less than 30,000 a year) and have not taken money from her in years (since college, and only for living expenses, not tuition). Then she criticized me for spending $1,500 on a wedding ring set for my engagement; my fiance and I saved up that money for over a year and she is offended that I spent money on rings but won’t give her some more jewelry (she still has plenty). Anyways, she went on a long sob story about how she only has $400 dollars in the bank and I am cruel to her for yelling and taking everything she ever had.
    I talked to my uncle to verify the situation, and it turns out that she is still spending wildly on hotel rooms to be with her skeezy boyfriend and all sorts of ridiculousness. I know I shouldn’t let her blame me for her financial situation, but it still hurts me.

28. Kime on January 20th, 2012 12:36 am

    I am the golden child of a bipolar mother. She passed away at the age of 94. I was the only one who could cope with her out of the six of us. I did this by helping her in a clinical way and not taking any comments to heart. It was not my mother speaking, it was her illness. When she would become unreasonable, I would simply leave. I would return a few days later. I considered it my purpose in life to provide the necessary care for her and made certain sacrifices to do that. None of us remembered many events in our childhood. Or what one would remember, others wouldn’t. I have often asked myself if I am bipolar. I have temperamental periods but never had a psychotic episode and I am told I am very level headed. Yet, there are lingering doubts that I am actually as sane as perceived. Right now I am contending with bipolar diagnoses for my sister, my daughter and my ex daughter-in-law. I have concluded there are different degrees of bipolar illnesses. Some people can be helped well with medicine, others will still have a very convoluted view of life while on the strongest meds. My sympathies lie with those who have to deal with people affected by bipolar disorder. The struggle seems to be all one sided. None of those I have known with bipolar diagnosis has ever truly accepted her diagnosis. So maybe I am seeing this from a slanted perspective. I don’t believe all people with bipolar disorder can be lumped together. Some are nearly tolerable most of the time, and some are never tolerable to certain family members. The point I am trying to make is that each situation is different and although similarities are there, there are also great differences.

29. mercedes biggins on January 29th, 2012 2:51 pm

    Wow… I’m 21 years old with two kids and a fiancee. My mother is bipolar and has been most of my life. I can’t believe how many peoplr are going throught the sam stuff I am. My mother has recently became real manic.. I recently told her about my step father sexually abusing me while I was younger and told me it was all my fault. My brother second born is what you guys refer to as the golden child. I’ve always tried to please her but nothing ever could amount up to him. He has done her so wrong on so many occastio.s. I habe recently have become very depressed about it all and I’m looking for guidence advice help anything. I’m at my wits end and I do not want my children growing up dealing with her the way I have its done some much damage. Please help me. :’(

30. mercedes biggins on January 29th, 2012 3:02 pm

    She says god talks to her and sometimes says we are evil she will just start writing on the walls she will refuse to take her meds. She has also claedy brothers imborn child is the spawn of satan becuz the.due date is 6/6/12. We are not on speakimg terms right now again because I’m the reason why everything wrong happens to her down to me being born and taking her life away becuz she had.me at 16. I know she is sick but this hurts to hear this your whole life and not to understand it. I habe done nothing but tried to make her proud of me amd mothing is ever good enough

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