6 Responses to “Jill Ravitz”

1. Joe on January 25th, 2008 1:43 pm

   Hi, Jill–

   Thanks for telling your story. A year or so after my wife was diagnosed with bipolar, we discussed getting a divorce. Living with bipolar disorder was very difficult for me and the kids, and I was worried about the long-term effects on our children. We had terrible arguments over dinner. Our house was literally a madhouse. What bipolar does to the family dynamic is horrifying.

   We managed to stay together, and with the help of medications and some good psychiatrists and therapists, we’ve created a fairly stable life for all of us. I’m very happy now that we did not move forward with a divorce. My wife is a great person. I knew that when I married her, but somehow I had forgotten.

   It is really tough for loved ones to live with bipolar disorder, but they always have the choice to bail out. What us loved ones often fail to realize is that the family member who has bipolar disorder doesn’t have the choice to bail out on it. That person has to live with it and deal with it, and it’s much more difficult for them than it is for us.

   I would guess that your husband and mom and any other family members who choose to avoid you are missing out on a lot by not being more involved in your life, and I hope for their sake and yours that your moods are able to level out and that they come to their senses.

   I wish you the best.

2. Should I Go or Should I Stay? on January 25th, 2008 4:24 pm

   [...] Jill Ravitz recently posted her bipolar story, which caused me to think about my own situation with my wife and our family. Back in 1999 my wife was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. Within about two years, we were discussing divorce. [...]

3. Amanda on February 29th, 2008 4:42 pm

   Wow Jill,

   I have to say I somewhat know how you feel. I went on spending sprees years ago and almost lost our house by continuing to spend the mortgage money, this becoming my worse after my third child and also having severe undiagnosed post partum which did’t get diagnosed until 8 months later when I ended up in the hospitall for a week, then I checked myself out against doctors orders.

   I finally started taking my meds regularly everyday and not missing a day for the past 3 years and what a difference.

   I have been able to control my sexual urges so I never cheated on my husband, but I did go on drinking sprees a couple of times not coming home or coming home early in the morning after partying all night, so now I stopped drinking for the past 3 years. Just an occasional drink.

   My husband has almost left me many times and I don’t blame him if he did back then, I saw how much it started destroying all the people around me.

   I was blessed with friends and family and my husband and my children and my doc of 22 years (not shrink, I gave up on them, not saying everyone should) being a great support system and now 17 years later I have a great relationship with everyone but I did do a few things. \

   First I souled searched and realized I can control this if I do what I’m supposed to do, take my meds watch and accept my moods, manic and depressive and not let myself go to much either way with knowing how to control my meds with learning about myself.

   I had to also take responsiblity for my actions and I still do this day even though many people have come to my defense daying it’s not my fault..no not the illness but me controlling it is.

   If you ever need to talk just email me or come into my blog and follow it to my facebook account…I’m always there..pretty much 24 hours a day

   Please take care and one thing, I don’t think there is any such thing as too much damage…look at alcoholics, they do a 12 step program taking one day at a time and people have forgiven them for they’re behaviour but it’s important to own up, accept and then soul search and try try try and change for not just people around you but for you you you.

   I know how hard it is to deal with it, I know what it feels like to be lonely, I know what it feels like to have people around you not accept you because they don’t understand so don’t ever feel lonely, come and see me and drop me an email or comment, email in facebook is better because I will see it sooner.

   Try to smile, listen to music it always always always helps me and write write write in a blog or anywhere, it is so theraputic, I’m living proof.

   Stay Safe Stay Warm

4. jill on March 26th, 2008 12:08 pm

   thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It came on a day when I am feeling very sad. I saw my mom last night for 2 hours (she was visiting) and instead of being happy; I feel so sad. I miss her so much. My life feels so empty now. I know I have the ability yet my life feels so empty right now.
   I’m in the process of a job search – I must get out from my present situation. I am isolated all day; with so much time on my hands my thoughts race all day!
   I feel like i’m up against such huge obstacles with my felony conviction. Its very hard to find a job in a company today that does not check backgrounds.
   I have a birthday coming up this weekend and thought surely I would have been more settled by now.
   I have written to so many for contacts or suggestions and it amazes me that my notes have gone unanswered. People don’t want to go the extra mile…..
   Even though we have been separate for so many years, and now live apart when I visited the kids last sunday I saw an invitation to a friend’s sons wedding addressed to my husband and his girl friend. My heart sank. I’ve known this child since he was 5. I just hate that Mitch has found someone to share his life with.
   I am also packing on the pounds which I know is normal from the medication, I believe it delays or possibly stops the body from breaking down the fat cells normally.
   I just find myself thoroughly disgusted at the moment. I don’t get dressed for work – I wear jeans and sneakers. Such a large part of my life had been getting dressed and feeling good about myself for work and now that is gone. Its been 6 months now working for a woman who is similar in style and personality to “devil wears prada” boss.
   I know this note is all over the place – its just so nice to hear from someone who has gone through similar experiences.
   jill

5. JoJo on May 5th, 2008 4:14 pm

   Sounds like you’re going through a hard time. Was your marriage stable before you were in your manic phase? Perhaps you weren’t happy in the marriage to begin with, so it would have ended anyway. One day you too will have someone to share your life with if you want. Also, perhaps you can find other ways to feel good about yourself instead of focusing on the clothes you wear to work. I wish you the best of luck. I’ve been there too, but realized I can’t blame all my problems on the disease.

6. » Should I Go or Should I Stay? - Bipolar Beat on February 10th, 2009 12:56 pm

   [...] Jill Ravitz recently posted her bipolar story, which caused me to think about my own situation with my wife and our family. Back in 1999 my wife was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. Within about two years, we were discussing divorce. [...]

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