Comments on: Bipolar Extramarital Affair

By: sombermom

sombermom — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 23:57:35 +0000

I have a 20 year old son who is being treated for bipolar disorder and adhd. It is really a terrible disease. His life is going down, and there is not much I can do to help him, without enabling his manic and addictive lifestyle. When he is in the more manic state, he has absolutely no ability to think through his actions. He spends all his money on stupid immediate gratification things, and refuses to pay what he promises. The only reason he still lives at home is because he has bipolar. However, my husband, younger son, and myself are very tired of dealing with is irresponsible and self-destructive lifestyle. I am allowing him to continue this path just because I feel sorry for him being affected with this curse. Maybe if he were forced to move away from home, just maybe he would learn about the real world, and adjust his lifestyle accordingly. Now, he has it made. He spends his work money, along with his student loan money to buy stereos, tatoos, and alcohol, etc. Fear has caused me to allow this behavior to continue. My husband wants him out. I’m afraid I will never see or hear from him again because I am always worried he will take his life.
The sad truth is his life is being taken from him each and every day he lives drinking, drugging, smoking, and not caring for himself. We have offered him everything, love, support, a soft place to fall, therapy, good doctors, everything that a caring parent would consider. The ONLY thing we haven’t done is to have him leave our home. Our son doesn’t take his bipolar disorder seriously, and we are all living in the worrisome chaos each and every day. He always acts resentful, and doesn’t appreciate us whatsoever. It is so sad, indeed. I pray for him each and every day. He needs to take his medication and see his therapist. I only see him when he comes home to take a shower. He is never here, but we have been dealing with his filthy room. It’s time for him to get a reality check TODAY!

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 12:09:17 +0000

Hi, DJ–

Could be bipolar disorder, could be something else entirely, such as a thyroid condition. If it were me, I’d tell my wife how much I loved her, that she seemed not to be herself, and I’m concerned about her health. I would encourage her to see her doctor. (Sounds like you’ve done some of this already, but it doesn’t hurt to try again.)

If that doesn’t work, I think some sort of family intervention would be in order. Your wife may need to be confronted and told explicitly 1) how this is affecting your life, 2) what her options are, and 3) the consequences if the situation doesn’t improve.

However, ground all your actions in love and start with the assumption that this is a medical issue.

I wish you and your family the best.

By: DJ

DJ — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 03:56:37 +0000

I have been reading up on BP and have a gut feeling that my wife of 27 years is ether BP or totally deceptive person. Here’s what’s been going on for some time/years and I have dealt with it and she sort of appeared to be back on track. However, in the last year she has got this thing about not opening the mail, destroying it and not paying some bills. She can’t sit and talk to me or anyone else about what is going on with out flying off the handle, storming out and not telling where she is or where she was all night. Her attitude with the family is shorted fused to say the least and dare not ask her about your gut feeling that she may be cheating.

I have mentioned to her that she needs to seek help that her actions come with out warning and she gets abusive. She never lets her cell phone out of reach, and when she goes to bed it’s somewhere on her side. Whenever she gets a call unless it’s our daughter she either hangs up or walks away and speaks quiet and for a short time. It took our daughter to tell her, “If yo don’t fly right I think Dad is going to up and leave because of your having to have a beer every chance you get.” Well that worked for a while but I don’t think it will last.

OK here’s the big one….. a few weeks ago is the first time I had wanted to wake her up but didn’t. She goes to bed early and falls asleep in about 3 minutes. I stay up a little later watch TV or IM my son out in AZ and BS with some friends…. Now I hit the sack about a few hours later. After I’m sound asleep I’m awaken and startled by sounds coming form her. I roll over slowly and she’s on her back, moaning “_ _ _ _ me baby, Oh baby,” and she got her pelvis thrusting.” I was trying to catch a name but could make it out. So I don’t say nothing to her but just gave her a knee as I always do when she might snore and that was it.

So this is on my mind and I ask her “Are you having an affair with someone?” she gets a flush look and then an outrage of anger and storms out of the house and doesn’t tell me where she’s going. I’m to the point of the big D. Nothing is going to ruin my health and I can’t put up with this anymore. I have pleaded with her to get help, because whatever it is has been getting worst. I’m going to say after all I have been reading that it very well could be BP. What’s your input ?

By: Bipolar Infidelity | Bipolar Lifeline

Bipolar Infidelity | Bipolar Lifeline — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:07:23 +0000

[...] read the entire article go to Dr. Candida Fink’s Bipolar Blog Information and Support site. « Uncontrollable [...]

By: Bipolar Infidelity | Bipolar Blast

Bipolar Infidelity | Bipolar Blast — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 03:26:53 +0000

[...] read the entire article go to Dr. Candida Fink’s Bipolar Blog Information and Support site. « Dr. John Gedes on Bipolar [...]