Comments on: A Wife’s Story

By: Candi

Candi — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:45:13 +0000

I am starting my own personal blog as a wife of a man with bipolar. I would LOVE to start a group on Facebook where we can have support for each other being a spouse, significant other, and going through that type of life. If you want to join me please email me at candicurtis @ gmail. com

By: Kim

Kim — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 14:37:18 +0000

I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their story. I thought I was alone on this. I cannot find support groups, all the Dr’s I talk to tell me to suck it up and my life is now all about him. I have a 5 year old daughter that loves her father more than anything. I do not want to leave him because of this and that I still do love him. He almost killed us both the last episode he had and every night I go to sleep praying that he won’t be waking me up like he did that night…the scared look on my baby girls face will never leave my head. I know, I should go seek therapy but when? I work 50+ hrs a week, handle EVERYTHING in the house and have to watch my husband since he doesn’t show any trigger signs, he just goes into violent mania. I see that this page is a bit outdated. Does anyone still come here? If so, I would like to talk to others. I don’t have a support group where I live and if I do find one, it will have to be online. Thanks again everyone, I’m not feeling so alone right now. It saddens me to hear your stories but I can relate very much. As for the ones that have made it through all of the hard times, kudos to you. I wish I had my husband, right now I have picked up a 40 year old child who could kill me and my daughter at any time and cannot even make a decision if he wants grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly for lunch. And to top it all off, we cannot find a Dr who will work with him because nobody has seen anyone who gets as manic as he does. He was on 40MG of Zyprexa if you know anything about Zyprexa and around 1300 of Lithium a day. He has been brought down and is showing signs of going into a possible mania but if he doesn’t have a Dr, what does one do? Sorry to complain…that is not my normal nature. I want to be positive again about my marriage and am scared I may never get to that again.

By: China

China — Tue, 10 May 2011 14:31:38 +0000

I am a wife to a Bipolar husband married 9 yrs (diagnosed 2 1/2 yrs ago) He had a rough childhood life. His mom was in & out of his life they did not have a stable relationship. I am his 3rd wife. We have 2 children with diabilities bith still in diapers. My husband was the perfect Husband he helped me raise my Two oldest children that are not his. One of the has autism and he raised him since 5 months old. He was amazing with my children so I thought he would be an amazing father with our own.
About 5 weeks ago his mom called after 9 yrs!! Yes you read right 9 yrs not knowing about her. He decided to go visit her where she lives 95 hrs away from us) well he was suppose to be back by Sunday. Sunday passed & he wasn’t back. All of a sudden He said he doesn’t love me & doesnt wANT TO BE MARRIED. I was like “Who Are You?” you are not my husband!! Till this day we are now separated 5 weeks he hasnt even done a trip up here to see the kids. I am a stay home mom so I have no income. He is retired, he retired early because of BP. Now I have all the bills, mortgage 4 kids 3 disabled and no job. Bipolar had destroyed my family life. And I was a great Wife to him extremely supportive. And this is how he pays me. My kids a so heart broken because daddy is not home anymore. I am emotionally drained and a mess because I do miss him and love him very much. But I know he will never be the person I married. I am pretty young 34 yrs old, so I know I can move on. It’s hard to raise 4 children on your own. But he doesn’t want to be a family anymore. I Hate this Illness because it stoled my husband from me.

By: tamarion

tamarion — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 02:26:03 +0000

i know it from the other side. i am bipolar
one, and ADD. i kept alot of the psychosis and crying spells and hallucinations and paranoid stuff
mostly to my self and spending money was the one that was the worst. i would flirt online…which i
am not proud of. i had an obsession with a friend
of mine too. i thought i was great when ‘high’ and had all sorts of plans that never panned out. when depressed i could barely do anything and wanted to die. finally found meds that work on me. it took docs ten years to get it right. i now appreciate my life and have become a totally different person. no longer life of the party, no longer creative as i was, but stable, and i will
take the stability gladly and be boring if i can keep from the mood swings that ruled my life.
i never stopped caring about my husband, i did think of his side of things most of the time, but
i was a mess…and sometimes even with meds i have
episodes, but it is longer between times and shorter duration. i am glad my husband was able to
stick with me for the rough times. i wasnt diagnosed bipolar till ten years ago. i wish u all well and do understand why it is too much to bear. i hated myself and behavior…when i could remember what i had done and said.luckily hubby was gone alot so he didnt have to deal with it as much. i rapid cycle too which in some ways made it easier…i would often be done with an episode
by the time hubby got home. it’s no way to live, for the bipolar person or for those they love and live with. sometimes it is safer to leave. i dont blame those of u who do. mine was a success story, and i am so glad it worked out ok.

By: Tara

Tara — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 21:19:22 +0000

I am so touched and saddened to read all of your stories, which all sound so familiar to me. I also have been married to a BP and ADHD spouse for 14 years and we have 2 wonderful children. Our struggle began 7 years ago when my husband was first diagnosed.

I am just so tired. I feel as though I have tried everything to “get him to see” what he’s doing to our family with his behavior. Although he is on meds, he often explodes over little things which are insignificant, yells very hurtful and damaging things, blames the problems on me, tells me that bipolar is “made up” and has nothing to do with his rants and rages.

I have felt very battered emotionally for a couple of years now. I have seen a counselor for myself who promptly stated that I had passed my threshold a long time ago. The problem is, my husband does not seem to care. I feel very upset and depressed after we argue because it is always bizarre and there is never any resolution. I have gotten very angry with him and threatened to leave so many times, which also follows bouts of his hurtful and damaging behavior. He seems to twist and distort everything, how arguments happen, what was said, and he forgets what he says. Now his latest thing is telling me that I need help for my anger and that I am the problem. It’s very manipulative.

I want to leave, even though I love my husband, but it is difficult because I’m a student and a mom with no income right now. Also, my children love their father and I worry about them. I just feel it has become impossible to have a normal relationship with him. He seems incapable or unwilling to talk through anything calmly, work on resolving the problems, seeking help for himself or with me, and staying in the present.

I just don’t understand how a marriage with someone like this is even possible, unless I’m willing to stay miserable.

All my family lives so far away and I truly feel alone sometimes, although I know I am not! I would appreciate any support or insight.

God Bless you all.