Comments on: A Wife’s Story

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:34:11 +0000

I’m running, but he keeps finding me. BP is a terrible disorder that destroys all involved.

By: lil'lady

lil'lady — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:07:00 +0000

If you are dating or are engaged to a bipolar man, run as fast as your little legs can carry you!

By: Lynn

Lynn — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 19:39:19 +0000

I was taken aback by Anomymous’s words. After struggling with the guilt of leaving my Bipolar husband, after 20 years, there was hope in that email. I have been the strong Mother, breadwinner, and enabler in my relationship. Letting go of the feelings that I should always be there to pick up the pieces of the destruction that the mania leaves in our lives. The depression of my BP man is heartwrenching. But, he could never see my depression, my hurt, my longing to have a normal life. I knew that I had reached my breaking point. All BP people need to take responsibility for their own illness. As loved ones, we cannot be their casulaties. My heart breaks for him, but I am finding my own strenth to carry on. Good luck and love to all of us who are touched by this encompassing illness.

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:49:03 +0000

I have read most of these stories and although i am not married, my mom married a man who was. At the age of 3 this man who later became my stepdad at the age of 12 is bipolar. We didn’t find out until 2006 though. It has been a nightmare. He is controlling and has all these quirks about things being in the right place. Not to mention he absolutely despised my brothers relationship with my mother. I could go on and on about this man and seriously our whole life story could be a movie. He has kicked us out of the house cut off my moms credit cards, and who knows what else. One day i came back home to visit and there was a basketball goal above the garage. There are no kids at the house, and the grandkids don’t even come over. He just decided to get one and he doesn’t even play basketball, ever. He wanted to get a divorce a while back because my brother was able to go to a quinciera and he wasn’t. My brother passed away a week or two after the event and he no longer wants a divorce. I feel many of ya’lls pain. For those of you who do have children of your own that aren’t the others, get out of it. I wish my mom would have got out of it years ago. I believe that my brother would still be here if she had. As long as you do what this man wants you to do he’s happy but the minute you don’t all hell breaks loose.

By: Judith

Judith — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:09:54 +0000

I am dismayed to see yet another catalog of horror stories that all include “bipolar.” I am deeply sorry to hear of this chaos and suffering.

At the same time, there is MUCH more to say about the condition itself, and I can assure you all that these blog entries I have read are not typical of all, or most, or even a significant majority of cases.

I risk stepping on toes by stating what I know to be true, so let me begin by stating that – I repeat, I am very sorry to read all of these stories and to hear of your suffering.

In addition to that, I know from my own experience as well as from having numerous friends and acquaintences that these writings reflect some distortions.

Nowhere in the DSM, under bipolar disorder, does it list “being controling,” “being a monster,” being “emotionally abusive,” “being a horrible parent,” being a horrible spouse,” “being a theif,” “being irresponsible with health care,” etc. etc.

I get tired of reading, all over the web, these long lists of sad stories in which people feel vicitmized by someone with bipolar disorder.

I came looking for some hope. I expect to find it someplace in the world, because I have been to hell and back with bipolar – without being a monster. I’ve suffered, and I’ve healed. I’m vigilant, not just responsible, and I have an independent life, as happy as anyone else does.

In 21 years since diagnosis, I never behaved in the ways described here. I can’t imagine anyone would be flattered to hear that someone would be terrified to have the children of someone with bipolar disorder.

It boils down to this: These behaviors that seem to wreck lives? It’s unspeakably awful. And I’m sorry. But it’s not characteristic of all people with bipolar disorder.

We all have character flaws. If someone’s controling and violent, if someone is a monster, they will be that way whether or not they have bipolar disorder.

Please don’t attribute all of this to bipolar disorder. It’s a distortion, and it clouds the real issues as to what this disorder really is, what we experience, and who we are.

This is the reason why lots of people fear disclosing that they have bipolar disorder. I did not used to be ashamed of it, but these days we don’t seem to get anything but rotten press.

People do things they should not do. Sometimes, people do terrible things. That is ALL of us. It’s insulting, and damaging to attribute all of those behaviors none of us likes to this illness.

I prefer to take responsibility for my mistakes and my character flaws. I don’t believe bipolar disorder has me on a string…that somehow it makes me behave in harmful ways.

I don’t attribute it to bipolar disorder. This should be celebrated, as there are PLENTY of people who do NOT have bipolar who choose to make excuses for their behavior.

I’m afraid if I tell people I have bipolar they will decide that anything and everything they don’t like about me or my behavior, they will write off to bipolar disorder.

Sorry, I was looking for some good news. I’ll keep looking.

Wish you all the best – with the illness, and with the behaviors you choose. I hope you don’t hand over your will to bipolar disorder, and I hope you don’t do that on behalf of those you know with bipolar.